A couple of years back, I read somewhere that Kale was the new super veggie. It was said to be good for preventing cancer and it was full of nutrients and all sorts of other stuff that I really don't understand. Anyway, I find this recipe for Kale and I decide to have a shot at it. Basically, you take the Kale leafs and spread them on a tray and sprinkle salt and other spices on it and bake it in the oven. If you've tasted Kale before you'll know that it's almost like cabbage but it's very rubbery and actually tastes like shit.But when baked in the manner that I described, it actually tastes pretty good. It's crispy and tasty and actually pretty edible. Anyway, I start eating a shitload of this stuff and I'm feeling really proud of myself because now I can classify myself as a health freak and I know that I'm preventing myself from getting cancer and stuff like that. So, I know that I'm ahead of the game and I'm like a trendsetter and I'm this cool bohemian. Most of you have never been there but, take it from me, it's a cool feeling to be a cool bohemian trendsetter! You just sort of stroll down the street passed the coffee shops whistling and oblivious to all around you and you feel those jealous eyes following your every move and the owners of those eyes are wishing that they can be a cool dude like you.
Anyway, as I said, I'm eating this baked kale everyday and I'm eating it like popcorn and that causes your stomach to behave (or misbehave) crazy. But I don't care because I'm cool and it tastes good and I feel good and I know that I'm acting in a responsible manner by being healthy.
After eating this kale for a month, I started getting a bit bored with the stuff and I wasn't feeling so cool anymore and my stomach was acting weird and I heard from someone smart that the salt (which is sodium...that's for my idiot followers....because all smart people know that salt is sodium) is not good for blood pressure. I also was a little confused because I realized that I would never know if it really was preventing me from getting cancer or not. Like, how would I know if the kale prevented me from getting cancer or if I wasn't going to get cancer anyway even without eating kale? Also, at the same time, I was eating a lot of blueberries because I read somewhere that blueberries had a lot of anti-oxidants and that was also good for preventing cancer. How would I ever know if it was the blueberries or the kale that was preventing my cancer?
So I stop eating kale and blueberries so that I won't have all this confusion in my mind.
Yesterday, lo and behold ( I'm not religious but I use biblical terms sometimes when I write articles), I'm reading this article and it explains that kale has a very coarse leaf and that it is very difficult to wash the insecticides off those leafs. And, get this, the blueberry, lo and behold, has a very absorbent skin and it is very difficult to wash the insecticides off the skin of blueberries!
The irony is that kale and blueberries may prevent you from getting cancer but the insecticides will get you in the end.
What is the moral of the story? You can always learn something from an idiot blogger!
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